growing up

Archana Shah When I was 10, rubber meant eraser, ass meant donkey, gay meant happy, straight meant linear, making out meant logical deduction, laying meant setting aside, cock meant rooster, pussy meant cat, stag meant a male dear and a tit was always for a tat! English has changed so much now days!!

so many things change as we grow up!! its no great shakes growing up i can tell you. but we all want to grow up so much when we are kids...guess its all a part of that elusive thing called the human psyche. :D

im sorry

im sorry that i lost the watch that you gave me, the one that had cost you so much yet won so little appreciation. it had a small dial and you had thought that it will suit my wrist best. however, everyone including me told you that it wasnt that great. you werent that stupid to just quote its price and wow us all. so you just became sadder all the while. why didnt you tell me? it was so stupid of me not to realise its worth. i just took it for another gift that you had got for me and i lost it before even a year was over. it was then that you told me that it was worth a 12and a half thousand rupees. even today when i buy a watch that costs 9000 rs on my own and my purchasing capacity has grown so much 12.5 k seems so high. then you had this huge loan and you had to spend such horrid time in uk having to cut costs. yet you managed to buy that gift for me. i have been really insensitive at times and i must ask for you forgiveness for every little thing that i had done wrong, even though i know that you will never get to hear this, read this or whatever. it just needs to get out of me.. i still miss you but only sometimes. i have almost forgotten you. yet we spent so much time together, there are so many small things that just reminds me of you.

THE BEST PATISSERIE IN TOWN

theo broma is widely reagarded as the best patisserie in mumbai. crowned the best patisserie by the times food guuide and a whole host of other renowned food guides this small shop in the heart of colaba enjoys a special place in the heart of mumbaikars and confectionary connoisseurs from far and wide. those that have had a bite of its delectable pastries, truffles, cakes, breads, chocolates and a whole host of other delicacies, spread the message of pure ecstasy far and wide and, as a result, people come flocking from from far away distances to taste the delicacies that do justice to the name. by the way, the name in itself means 'God's own food' in greek. the first time i came across this small nook in colaba next to the hp petrol pump was when i was told prior to the navy ball by lt cdr pritika that there existed this absolutely mind blowing confectionery in colaba and i might try and get them to come for the navy ball. that was when i was introduced to the theo broma. so, i went hunting for this shop, and hunting it was, for it was hidden right in front of all of our noses. the location and the interiors kind of reminded me of that fabulous movie 'Chocolat' starring judi dench and johnny depp, written by joanne harris. it was pure magic and you could feel it the moment you entered the premises. kamal messman, the chef who is the heart behind this shop and her daughter kainaz messman are absolutely unbelievable and it was a beginning of a love affair that has lasted for more tahn a year now. the cheese cakes. made from raspberry, blueberry and mango are a delight to have anyday. however, in my opinion the best part of the menu is the brownie. i tell you mon cherie, i have never in my life tasted such chocolate roasted ecstasy. i can make a pilgrimage just to taste one of their brownies. this is to say nothing of their range of other products. if there is one thing i will miss when i leave mumbai it will be theo broma and its soul stirring brownies. thanks a lot kamal and kainaz, may theo broma prosper for long.

i may have been an asshole when i was presumptuous enough to state that mumbai was a place that i hated!! after all. mumbai is a place where men and women from all over india flock to realise their dreams. it is that elusive land of el dorado which Ulysses had gone in search of. for millions of indians unsatisfied with their lives, nunbai offers that faint glimmer of hope that provided them sustenance in  the days to come. there was a time when i saw the pollution that is so rampant in mumbai. seriously, there seems to be so much pollution in mumbai that quite often i believe the species of human beings who live here must be the next evolved species of homo sapiens. after all, how on earth can the human beings who for millenniums have adjusted themselves to the free and pure air that can only be found in the valleys of the himalayas as of today,  adjust themselves to the highly poisonous air that we breathe in when we come to mumbai? today, however, i realise that this air is what we create, the payment we make to the devil for the comforts science provides us. no wonder then that it is said that too much power and too little control is the most potent formula for destruction. that is what we are -- a formula for destruction. so why blame a city? this city on the banks of the great arabian sea has borne much, to mention nothing about the sea of humanity that has desecrated its shores. for centuries this city has allowed us to pollute it, all the while patiently providing us with water, rain, air and the sky. we have tried our level best to cut down on all these resources and today when we stand on the brink of destruction we blame the city! the prodigal son hath not returned , yet there seems to be no dearth of reasons to blame the city. its time we sat up and took notice of how this beautiful city has not only been our mother but also a hero in disguise.

so much to do

so much to do, so little time to accomplish everything. i want to be the next tagore, the next bill gates, the next mother teresa, the next barack obama, the next great thing. i want to be revered in my own time and respected by posterity. i want to be the richest man on earth and give it all away to the poor and needy. i want to set right everything on earth and i want to love like only i could. i want to write poems that would drive millions mad, and i want to sing like kishore kumar and john denver put together. i want my mom to be as happy as she ever was giving birth to me. i want my dad to be proud for being my dad. i want to be on top of the world and only one lifetime to achieve that. is that asking for too much?

ai jani na

ami jani na, i know not
have you ever had those dreams?
the ones where you are naked in the middle of people you know..
i used to have those dreams quite often when i was a kid.
psychologists tell us that if you have those dreams
 you are feeling insecure and the people the reason
so, why would a twelve year old kid feel insecure and who would make him feel so?

that same person came back in my life and for a small time i thought i was happy
i knew not the storm that was lurking behind the calm
it hit me full force when i started having those same dreams
this time it was much more embarrassing and vivid
i have cried like a baby many times since,
every time bleeding internally and losing a little bit of the happy place that i had built
hoping some day to live in it, loved and alive.

IM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!

hi guys i am back... and it feels amazing to be writing again after such a long hiatus, and may i make a mention here that it was a forced one! unfortunately the internet here at NOFRA was down for thelast couple of months and i had little option of going online and typing... so i guess that i will be meeting you as well as myself on this platform pretty regularly again. i have here with me sitting right next to me a very old friend, Pappu. he was one of those confidantes who i would turn to every time i needed a sympathetic ear, and we have had our shares of tiffs as well. but what ship can be called great which hasn't faced a gale or two? so, it is that we have had our times, good and bad, memorable and not-so-memorable. however, the fact that he has come to visit me after four years of absolute no contact says a lot about our friendship. hope to speak a lot more tomorrow, but i'm in  a hurry to sleep today.  bye and see you all soon.

FORGOT UR GMAIL ID?

well there's nothing else to do actually. there are two ways to go about this. first, you need to remember your alternative email id that you provided when signing up. in case you do, just go to the FORGOT YOUR PASSWORD PAGE and type in the necessary email id. your password will be sent to you within the next 5 minutes. in case you have forgotten your alternative email id, there is one more option. you need to remember your security question. if you do, voila!! there you go.

but, in case you don't, there are some other options available on the net but i wouldn't advise using them. they are called keylogger software. if you type "break/crack/hack gmail password" in google, you will get access to a lot of these freeware. the way they work is pretty simple. they will keep a record of all the keystrokes you make and all the encrypted data like passwords can be extracted using them. however, this will work only if someone uses the account after the keylogger software has been installed. that is, a person with malicious intent alone will use such software to get access to someone else's software. which is why it is always safer to use the onscreen keyboard when you login to your net banking account from a cafe. these softwares can also extract the passwords that have been saved on your pc/laptop or has been used on them earlier. however, in case someone has remembered to delete the history and cookies files there is no option to extract that either. just a reminder, most of these keylogger softwares are malwares. they invariably have trojans hidden in them. so, even if you decide to go ahead and track your friend's, fiancee's or spouse's password you might be doing at the risk of your own data.
another very important fact that i learnt today is that if ever you sign up for an account based on an invitation from someone you do not know, the best idea would be to go to that site and sign up on your own and not from the link that was sent to you. even if you do sign up based on that link, carefully check every column for any pre-entered data, like alternate email-id, security question, etc, before you submit. cheers.

BONGS... :D

There are two kinds of Bengalis that we know. Probashi or Expatriate  Bangalees, a fairly large and diverse group and Bengalees who are from  Kolkata. This group is incorrectly known as Bongs, as they are merely a  subset. However, this is the only group which matters.
Gokhale said of them, long years ago, "What Bengal thinks today, India  thinks tomorrow."  To which Rene Descartes responded, "I think (today),  therefore I am (Bengali)." Like all other Nobel Prize Winners, Oscar  Awardees and most successful Indian cricket captains, Rene Descartes was  also a Bong (this fact is not known outside of Kolkata).
Physical Description:
The Bong has a large head, glasses, glistening hair and dark skin. Older  Bongs develop an ample stomach to balance their large heads. This happens  by the age of 25. They smell of Keo Karpin. The average life expectancy is
65 years. What is even more impressive is what they do in  those years. Outside Kolkata, regardless of weather, sex or age,  Bongs can be seen in their Monkey Caps. This is a must-have accessory  as well as a sign to recognise other Bongs.
Early Years:
While most Bongs are born with innate talents in singing, dancing,  painting, film-making, cooking or embroidery, their creative talents  are honed even before they can start speaking. Frequent meets are  organised between infants and their successful ancestors and other  relatives.
MA degrees (preferably from Cambridge, or at least from Presidency or
Jadobpoor) are displayed over the cots. The infant is exposed to the best  of Bengali thought - Marx, Bentham, Kalidash, Tolstoy, Chekov.
This increases the size of their heads  and the height of their ambitions.
Similar examples, though rare, can be found in European tradition as well,  as in the case of Mozart.
In India, however, Bongs have the sole preserve on such activity during  infancy. Soon, when they grow up a little, their characters are further  honed in the best of schools. Here, I am not referring to the St.
Xavier's, La Marts, Don Bosco's et al. They are important in the nurture a  Bong child  goes through. What is even more important are the schools the Bong child  passes through before school and after school.
Many a Bong child wakes up at five o'clock in the morning to attend  swimming classes. After one hour of swimming, he attends tennis coaching  before rushing off to one of the first heaven schools mentioned above.
School finishes by three or so, from where, he scoots along to Singing/  Instrumental Music/ Dance Classes, followed by tuition (in at least three  of all five subjects). He rounds off the day with coaching  on either  Debating or Quizzing.
Many a Bong mom, after the mandatory afternoon nap, will carry the child  along through this day, feeling equally energised with uncommon zeal.
This behaviour is again not restricted to Bongs. It is also seen within  kangaroos in Australia, who rush along from one clump to another bush.
Growing up:
Soon the Bong attains adolescence, doesn't find friends of his age  (since everyone is competing for the Nobel Prize or the Indian captaincy)  and finds intimacy in conversation in his/her parents or the poems of T.S.
Eliot and Pablo Neruda. When school ends, they move on to the good  colleges - St. Xavier's, Presidency or IIT Kharagpur.  The best of them,  though, move straight to Joo (Jadobpoor). However, in recent years, Dilli  (Stephen's obviously), is becoming the preferred destination for some  escapists.
In colleges, they decorate their rooms  with books or portraits of Robi  Thakur (Tagore). On the opposite wall, they will have posters of  Che/Maradona and Enrique Iglesias, thus expressing solidarity with Latin  American culture. All of them share equal interest in the Bong-Rock  (Bhumi, Chondrobindu, Cactus,Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple).
Later Years:
Bongs mature early. Critics have said that they grow old early, but that  is nothing but old hat. Years of toil and Eliot would obviously bestow  wisdom. The reason they look older is because the sole purpose of a Bong's  life is to win the Nobel Prize or the Oscars (and in recent years, captain  the Indian team). With great responsibility comes great age.
Add to it, the chlorine in the swimming pools  and you know why Bongs grey  prematurely. As far as their mission in life is concerned, they have been  very successful at it. Every Indian Nobel Prize winner has been Bong.  So  have the Oscar Awardees. And most succesful Cricket Captain.
And Bipasha Basu.
Once Bongs have kids though, their mission on life changes. The only  raision d'etre for them is making sure that their progeny achieves the  heights that they could (orcouldn't).  Hence, parent Bongs are mostly  found outside of schools, colleges and tuition classes.
Diet:
Diet is as important as Robindro Shongeet. There's nothing that a Bong  can't eat. However, they prefer protein over other food groups.
The largest source of protein for them is fish, then meat, and then mishti
(sweets) made from milk. More than fish itself, it is the knowledge of  fish which is coveted and enjoyed. Carbohydrates are tolerated if they are  deep-fried in oil or if it is an accompaniment to fish. Luchis (somewhat  like a Puri), Telebhajas (pakoras) and Phuchkas (Paani Puri)  are the  favoured source of carbohydrates. The young Bengali though, invariably,  always lives on a diet of Farex, Lactogen and Waterbury's Compound  followed by Horlicks in later years.
Mating and procreation:
A few Bong end up being in relationships, which lead to love marriage.
This is sometimes shown in movies and song. However, most do not have any  such social malignancy and end up marrying the woman of their mother's  dreams or men of their father's choosing. This results in mixing the right  genes for the next cycle of Bongs. Love marriage, by its very nature, is  random. It sometimes results is tragedy, like marrying  into another country (like India).Hence, it is avoided, wherever possible.
Social Life:
Adda, Robindro Shongeet and Cha. Repeat. Do note that the young Bong  doesn't have a social life (at least not till he wins the Nobel or gets a  Government job).
Habitat:
While you may find a Bong in other places (like occasionally in offices),  the best time to observe a Bong is in his natural habitat -the best of  colleges, the best of schools, the best of coffee houses. It is here that  he will tell you about Balzac while she will recite poetry with gay  abandon.
To mix in with the Bong, apply Keo Karpin to your hair and carry a jhola.
Hopefully, they won't notice your small head.  Do not worry about not  knowing the language, as the Bong likes being heard.
Famous Bongs:
Many famous Bongs have been referred to in this extract. Hence, this  section is used to debunk that big myth about Bongs. People believe that  Bong men can't be hunky. If so, then what about Abhishek Bachchan (via
mother,) Saif Ali Khan (via mother), John Abraham (via girlfriend),  Hritik Roshan (via grandmother). Which only goes to prove that Bongs are  good guys, despite their love of cracking jokes about every other  community but completely lacking the ability to laugh at themselves!

--

MY POEM

at times the pain seems unbearable
serpent inside my head, coiling around my temple
time ticks unbearably slowly, life is just not worth living
the sky is black like tar, not a single star to cheer me.

the veins in my eyes burst, blood blurs vision
i look at my hazy form in a mirror
only two red eyes look grossly back at me
i'm lost as i search for the right language to express myself
my heart bleeds incessantly, language irrelevant.

my throat is parched as are my insides,
thoughts come at random, like bolts from the blue
i wince in pain as they explode into recognition
i shiver as i realise that all is part of a whole

fear makes me numb even as my brain works frantically
as the small pieces start falling in place
the picture starts to resemble a horrible nightmare
my worst and, yet, now a a stark reality

colours creep into the picture from the confines of hell
my angel has left my side, hope has flickered away
im being devoured alive from inside my brain
i know not how to stop this madness

my fears have driven me to the brink of despair
it seems beyond my efforts to stop this nemesis from hell
i have  not given up yet, something tells me not to
life persists even after the worst storm has had its say
life persists on land that has been ravaged by fire

life exists on land that was blasted by an atom bomb
life supercedes all barriers we put in its way
scientists predict it will flicker away someday
some billion or trillion years later when the sun will explode
yet, i prefer to believe that life will endure
maybe as a microscopic speck at the other end of the universe

it is from life that i draw my ultimate lesson
i know somewhere deep within me lies strength
the strength to overcome this fiend in its worst form
it is that strength which i seek now

i search all around and within myself
i have got to save my save myself and my angel
from this mutating disease that is me
i clutch at every straw that comes my way
i seek mercy from god, whom i've ignored until now
i seek mercy from my stars, in whom i had no faith
i seek to impress myself with the lesson of other men

it is the demons within me that i need to conquer
i know even as i persevere, i shall find truth
i need to see through this storm and my angel awaits me
with a smile on its radiant face and a twinkle in its eyes
it will take me into its arms and peace will be mine
like a foetus in its mother's womb, i will be free of my troubles
i sail towards happiness in the arms of my angel, my DESTINY.