Thursday, March 21, 2013

Missing my friends

Too lonely here in this world without friends. I wonder how the prehistoric man used to live without friends and bonding. This is why you need friends, family and close relatives. This why I hate being me. I have lived what others want and yet I have realised that I have never achieved what I want. Achievements alone don't fulfill your days, necessities and luxuries combined don't give you the opportunity to be whole. Whoever coined the phrase "Man is a social animal", knew what he was talking about. I have always wondered why we love going back to our roots and why we treasure the days of our childhood the most. The fact remains that those are the days that have been the happiest in our lives and it is neither sin nor a wonder that we crave to turn time back and head back to our wombs. The days of fun, frolic and  careless enjoyment are restricted to our childhood and that is what remains the most attractive destination no matter who we eventually become. From the girl who sees the whole wide world to the guy has slept with half the world, we all want to go back to our friends, to our small hometowns, to our roots, to our unbidden lives full of unparalleled revelry. Some day, I wish to head back to my hometown, to my Kalyani, and to spend some years there with my parents and my friends and all that I used to love. The days of organising theatres, the days of making fun of the girls and a secret smoke, the days of the illicit drinks and the hidden pornography, the days of the shared lunch and the hours in class waiting for that one girl to turn and smile at me. For a few days I want all that back. But, my days are gone and others have taken my place. It is their turn now to create memories that someday they will try and crawl back to, and I'm not needed. My days are gone and no footprints remain in the sands of time, the mute grounds witness to generations of me. Some times I wish a small part of the grounds, to rejuvenated everyday by the elixir of careless abandon, but not even a grass of these grounds need me. We remain only in our memories and forever lost to the world, lesser than tiny specks of dust.

I do miss you all my friends, no matter where we met and where you are. I wish you all the very best in what you do and I hoope that you find true happiness in your lives.

Frozen Soul

Have I lost myself is what I wonder,
Have I no soul anymore?
When the sky cries and the waves shed their tears,
When the earth roars its disappointment,
When the world stops spinning, I have no feeling.
Has my heart been touched by the eyes of Medusa?

I had the heart of a wanderer, I had the eyes of a traveler
I had the soul of a child and the heart of a fawning puppy
I cried at every tender moment in every movie, book and life itself
My tears purifying my experience, my feelings in a knot
My heart stopped beating every time I saw my girl,
My heart soared the skies with all my hopes and my emotions.

I loved with the same passion that the rain loves parched soil
I wanted with the same desire that a nomad wants water
I soared above life on the wings of  swan and soared along with it
I lived in my dreams and in others too and I loved in them too.
Have I lost being me, yet continue to be?

Where is the tune that will bring my sleeping soul to life?
The one that haunts my dreams with its lilting beauty
The one that brings tears to my eyes with its mellifluous serenity
The one that causes grass to grow in deserts and merry streams to flow
The one that changes ever so often and yet remains eternal
The one whose tune I hear forever, yet grows distant evermore.