YYYYYY?

Is being Cryptic the way to go in life? Are the ones who don't say much the really wise ones? Is it necessary to maintain silence to exert ones importance? Or is it better to air one's opinion every now and then? There are so many unanswered questions in life. My mom says that my wants exceed my needs by far. How much of that is really true? Do I really need only so much and no more or is it not right that my ambitions should be limited only by the sky? Should I not want to be as successful as the most successful men? Are not the most venerated men the most successful ones? Does not our society shun its losers as the weaklings? Does the weakest cub survive in this race for the survival of the fittest? Yet, my parents have lived their lives happily with all their shortcomings and all their not-so-great-successes. So, is not the way to peace best achieved though a hermit's point of view? How do I find the right answers?
Finally how do I reach peace and happiness in life? Through love? Well, that is a no-brainer! That finding peace through love is as elusive as finding the aurora borealis! That generation that seeked a peaceful family life, a peaceful and happy existence is long gone, replaced in turn by our generation- a generation that finds everyone fighting for their power, importance and share of the pie. We have forgotten that peace is best achieved through giving, happiness best achieved by loving and forgiving and the best existence is the one found in harmony with one's surroundings. I see my mom and dad peacefully co-existing and loving each other through all their tribulations and problems, financial as well as otherwise. I see my mom getting in the kitchen to cook inspite all the work she does otherwise without any complaints, I see my mom listening to my dad. This is the same mom I used to think as illogical and highly unpredictable. Yet, she listens to what my dad wants, mostly without him even expressing what he wants. How little I recognise people! She listens to me and brother shout and mostly comes up with some really illogical arguments that only she can. She is the only person I know that can do all that and yet have the sense to understand that we all need to boisterous and our selves without imposing on anybody else. I see them and I see how wrong I was to hope that I would be as happy as they are. I will never achieve the same peace that they have, neither will I ever see myself be the man I wanted to be. Maybe I will be very successful one day, maybe not. But it will always be useless as I have already lost the battle of life. I will never be a s happy as my parents were.

SAY NO TO BLACKBERRY

The present craze maybe to buy a Blackberry as the favourite BBM is an overwhelming favourite of all, but m experience says quite the opposite. Nothing beats Nokia for that matter. Its battery life is unmatched, the phones are sturidier than the bricks used to construct Government buildings in India and extremely resistant to heat, stress, water and other forms of damage. However, the best part of it is like a Maruti car it can be repaired any where and any time. The components are cheap and affordable and unlike the other phones it can be trusted. My Blackberry has given me untold miseries over the Last one year. The software is flimsy and gets corrupted ever so often and the phone stalls like a cheap Chinese toy the moment you try to run more than one operation simultaneously. The battery life is really shabby, lasting less than #3 hrs of non- stop usage. The worst part is the hardware is really fickle and prone to damage. Guys, this is the Sheldon Cooper of mobile phones. Everyone's favourite, yet no one knows why. Everyone wants to see it yet it hasn't delivered yet. Now, to top all my other woes of the touch pad not working and the software getting corrupted, the phone itself refuses to switch on. On taking it to the service centre, they had a funny way of putting it. The phone is water damaged they said as the litmus paper placed inside had changed colours. When informed that it could have happened due to sweat as well, they just turned it around and asked me to go back to the old service station as that service station was apparently better. When informed that there was no other service station in Goa, they just gave up. Now,I'm just praying that the phone starts as all my data is in the phone and would get lost otherwise. Fingers crossed and swear to buy Nokia next time.

INDIA'S AND GOA'S ONLY NUDE BEACH

Yes, I'm not kidding!! No, I'm not pulling your leg and yes, I'm in my senses.  India does actually have a nude beach and its in Goa!! Now, I know that Goa is the closest most Indian Guys will ever come to getting to see women almost nude on the beaches. Frankly, no other place in India offers this much of skin show in public. No wonder then that most Indian men, fed on a steady stream of Hollywood movies, internet porn and their wildest imagination expect Goa to be all that and more when they come. However, sad to say, most of them also come to goa hoping to get laid as most indian men equate bare skin with loose morals and an invitation for promiscuity. hence, the leers, the stares, the gawking, the loud raunchy comments and the cheap booze driven desperation. . unfortunately, none of this ugly behaviour compensates for their crazed obsession to find women to have sex with as, thankfully (?) Goans are quite prurient and chaste. Hence, neither does prostitution thrive in goa nor do the locals allow prostitutes to enter. So, unless you are staying in some posh hotel where they will get you russian and israeli escorts for 5-8 grand or you are ready to satisfy yourself with the utterly pathetic, disease ridden souls parading their bodies for sustenance near Baina beach you won't find much to look forward to in Goa. The one redeeming aspect in this sphere is the gallant chivalry of the Goan beach boys. They will sell themselves for a meager amount to any fair skinned firang woman, even the ugly and hopeless ones who wouldn't dream of catching a boy for such an amount in their own countries. Hence, once you come to terms with this disappointing aspect of Goan life, the only silver lining remains the skin show on the beaches. The more the merrier.

The first time I realised that breasts weren't really worth looking at was when i saw a pair of them on one dilapidated old carcass carrying herself with the new found swagger of the ugly duckling who suddenly realises that her wasted frame was still worth men tripping over themselves. And the story went on and on. there were more and more breasts on display and most of them were not really worth a second glance. for all of my distinguished readers discreetly wiping their drool, all this and much more is available on Goan beaches if you have the energy to venture out on a hot a afternoon. for the best time to catch people sun bathing is when the sun's around. even then you have to know where to be if u want to catch the action as it were and that's what i'm here for. i'm here to open the doors to the secret world of goa to one and all, to wash the dirty linen in public per se, to get you up to date with those mouth watering, heart-skipping-a-beat secrets of goa that you have heard being whispered about and never witnessed.  yes, there are nubile young women (or sexy young chicks in the general lingo) and hot young men all attired in their birthday suits roaming the shady nooks of this beach and you just have to know your way to this place.

enough of the suspense already you say? well, maybe i was piling it on a little. so let's get down and dirty. this beach is called Arambol beach. now there will be some who will be tut-tutting and shaking their wise heads, murmuring to their confidantes that they had been to this beach last year and there was nothing special to speak of. well, for all those skeptics, the action is not in open view, it cannot be. india has a law against public nudity and these people are well aware of it. so, they seek some shelter where they wont be thronged by shameless indian men staring at their genitalia while they try to colour themselves brown, or a burnt red as the case maybe. when you reach Arambol beach you have to ask for the sweet water lake. this is one amazing feature of the Arambol beach which in itself makes the beac a prized tourist attraction. however, its not easy to find. it is about 10-15 min of walk across a narrow hilly lane along the seaside, dotted with small shops selling the sort of junk you will find in any tourist destination and particularly in goa. at the end of your journey you will be rewarded by the sight of a glorious beach on your left, a rousing mountain ahead and a cool fresh water lake nestled at foot of the hill and separated by about 50 mtrs of sand from the sea. there are shady palm and coconut trees along the border. if you wade into this lake, the water is not over 5 feet deep at any place. you can walk up the lake into the mountainside as far as you want to. one word of caution. it is probably better to carry some footwear while you wade into the lake as the rocks get a little slippery at places and can cut your feet. as you move up the lake, the stream becomes narrow and you reach the treasure trove of multani mitti. most tourists prefer to lather their entire bodies with this free supply of multani mitti and then walk back along a separate trail down the mountainside. Finally take the holy dip in the lake and wash off the soil and hope that you glow!! :D

If you go ahead of this small lake along the beach for about 100 meters you will hit the rocky mountainside. Just keep climbing these rocks and get to the other side. and along your way you will find small pockets of sand. Ofetn in these pockets you will find small groups or couples. These people are actually looking for a secluded corner to sunbathe in nude in peace. these small pockets in the rocky mountainside will continue till you reach Keri beach on the other side of the mountain. In between you will come across a couple of rather spacious tunnels through the mountain side, small rivulets and narrow ledges along the sides of the mountain. It is here that I've seen beautiful birds as well. But, most impressive of all, I've seen beautiful young women nude, lying sitting, standing in all poses imaginable, doing all sorts of stuff from rubbing sunscreen on their breasts to sitting spreadeagled tanning their innards. Its is also this that attracts some local youth from sitting on some high rock close by and watch these fair skinned beauties reveling in their god given nudity. So, my advice is that go and take a look, but dont be obvious about it. let these poor souls have their peace dont pester them by looking and gawking at their nude bodies coz they are looking for some peace and solitude as much as anybody else.

MISSING HEART, BLEEDING HEART

I don't know what has happened to me. i  don't know how best to express my feelings.I've always taken refuge in the arts in moments of of pain. And I'm in extreme pain now. Depressed sounds more like a clinical case and given the Indian mentality to outcast anyone with a mental illness or even a semblance of it, Id rather say that I'm sad. I can't breathe properly, I can't sleep peacefully, I cant see myself in the mirror as I haven't shaved in the last few days, I don't feel like taking a bath, I don't want to talk to anybody , play games or go to the beach and swim. Its all a blurry mirage.. as if I have myopia. I never thought that I would experience these feelings again. I have lived with just myself for company for the last 8 years and more. I have always been a little  unsocial, socially awkward, not knowing what to do, what to say, how to express myself and what emotion I should be feeling. So, I didn't know that I could feel these emotions again. I always knew that i loved my wife, and also that i cared a lot about her. What I didn't know was that I've grown to love her so much that this short separation from her is actually more painful than anything else I've ever know. I always was of the opinion that I loved Devbarna more and never more would I ever find someone ti replicate that innocent love of childhood. After all, they say that first love is never replaced. 

But, I was so wrong. Trust me, all that they say that first love cannot be replaced is bullshit!! after all, my first love duped me, tried to tell me that its all my fault while going on behind my back with her colleague. The woman I had decided to give up everything for decided that I was just not worth it and found a much wealthier guy for herself. Whereas the woman I promised love but never expected to love so much has suffered all the repercussions of Dev's indecency. She may not have silently borne the brunt of all my tantrums and she may not be the ideal wife as per Indian standards, but she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She drinks and taught me how to enjoy drinks without getting drunk. she wears western clothes, loves to party, and is the woman every man would love to be with. Slowly, yet steadily she has taken over my heart in such a manner that Now even if she leaves me and goes for her work for a couple of days I get depressed. She never promised anything yet she has delivered more than I could have ever imagined. This sounds like a lovelorn youngster out of school, but its true. You can love your wife as much as you may ever love any other woman. I've seen my parents have a loving married life for more than 25 years now. I hope some day my kids will get inspired the same way. I hope that he/she is as lucky as I am and ends up with as amazing a woman as I have.

But what do I do with this heart of mine? She isn't coming back for the next 07 days and its already been 19 days since she left. I need to find some sort of settlement in life where I can work with my wife by mu side at all times. Love you Archana.